No Sex and the City

Navigating life as a New New Yorker

Sometime in mid July…

While the lack of activity on my Substack and recent deactivation on my main account on Instagram may have you believing that nothing is happening in my life and I have nothing to say, it’s actually quite the opposite. Where do I even begin?

My days consist of waking up naturally - I set my alarm most days but thankfully a career in real estate affords me the flexibility to sleep in a little if my body absolutely needs it. I have never been a morning person. I typically go to sleep late and wake up late. I enjoy the hours of night when everything is quiet, still, and dark; in other words, I’m released from the expectations of man and commerce.

I live in an area of Brooklyn that, ten years ago, would have been considered extremely dangerous. The gentrification process has been underway for the past decade, but not in a way like Williamsburg where big brands are moving in. Thank God. The restaurants are locally owned - a few even rivaling what I’ve experienced in Manhattan - while retaining a small neighborhood feel. I’d give recommendations, but that might reveal too much about where I live, and I’m really into boundaries and privacy right now. Ergo, deactivating my Instagram account of 30K followers.

I’m still somewhat active on my spiritual account - @the_balanced_bae - and @sellbuyny, where I post about my adventures as a real estate agent in NYC. I just found that even though I have an Instagram of 30 thousand followers, it’s a space that has just become noisy, rather than a space for growth and connection and light. I follow a lot of people on that account and just don’t need to see everything I’m not apart of, while I’m trying to rebuild my life from the literal ground up, and the amount of overthinking and anxiety that absorbing so much information induces… I needed a break. I’m at a point in my life where so much has changed in the last two years and so much is changing.

I’ve been sober for the last 6 weeks, which always is the right choice, and a healing experience. There isn’t a bone in my body that wants to drink. I’m feeling stronger, clearer, and more present than I have in a long time. I’m only just beginning this chapter of life in New York, but I already feel more alive and inspired than I did the last 6 years living in L.A. and Nashville. Not only inspired to create and do and build, but to heal. It’s like I’m starting to remember my worth. Dating selfish idiots will really have you forgetting who you are. They will have you thinking you’re not beautiful, talented, trustworthy, capable, amazing, all the things that you are, and have proven yourself to be, over and over and over again. They will have you questioning if you’re worthy of loyalty, respect, communication, honesty, protection, appreciation, affection, and feeling like you’re disconnected from God.

Fucking criminal if you ask me.

The road hasn’t been smooth or painless. The story too long for a Substack post. So I’ll keep it moving. I wake up, check emails, get ready, walk to the train, and ride into the city. An iced oat matcha latte is typically in order, as I’m also staying away from coffee these days. Coffee makes my mind spazz, and there’s always a crash somewhere in the day. Matcha gives me a nice energy boost and allows me to stay focused without crashing. There’s a lot to learning about being a real estate agent, and in order to do it well, I have to know how to prioritize, and respond, what to say when, work with people in a way that doesn’t come off as too pushy, but helps them see why they should work with me, plus I have to have the physical stamina to handle the demands of running around the city to do showings, going to previews, - in the heat - all the while keeping in mind the various conversations I’ve got going, and always thinking of how to stay creative and strategic. The rental market here is incredibly competitive in summer. I’m satisfied to say I’ve closed 5 deals since getting my license in May. Not too shabby for a newbie, but I also know that while summer is most competitive, it’s also in a way easier because there are so many people moving here at this time.

As far as dating goes, I really don’t have much of an interest. I was on Hinge for a couple months and went on several dates, but nothing was aligned. They either ghosted, were too young, were only interested in a physical situation, didn’t know how to communicate - like at all - or were atheistic nihilists. I’m open if someone great comes along, but I’m not holding my breath. I need to make money. I need to rebuild myself. I need to fall in love with myself and my life, and surround myself with people who see my worth, and validate my worth by building with me. I literally do. not. have. time. for bullshit anymore.